HOME Ramblings about “My Calling”
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The sum of me
At rest can’t be
I must be free
In others see
What is not said
But thought instead
Or felt and bred
In heart not head
So I may say
Insides display
Their fears allay
Bring peace this way
I must express
What they cannot
Know not how
In them I got
To this I’m called
I know not why
It’s from beyond
I must comply
Each time I see
A way to free
Another soul
I cannot flee
Why I’ve been chosen
Escapes me
Drives me on,
Is mystery
In my writing is my soul
I
have poured it out in haste
I have tried to show my essence
I
have tried not time to waste
I can feel within the depths
Of
the person that I am
Something wonderful is living
Give
it voice my urgent plan
I am filled to overflowing
There
is need to speak my peace
There is healing there is wonder
There
is joy in the release
Of the words that carry feelings
And
the message of my love
I can touch the souls in need
Hear
the chorus from above
I am driven to disperse
All
the music that I hear
Running out of time is
The
one thing that I fear
I am frantic to give flight
To
the message I’ve been given
Though I will not know the
meaning
Till
my final breath has risen
I am bearer of a message
That for now suffice to be
Joyful in the holding
And
the giving it to thee
After 60 years of living
I
find I am returned
To the youth of my beginnings
Learn
the lessons yet unlearned
Embarking once again
On a
life that was a dream
Following my instincts though
Never
did I deem
That the things I had in mind
then
Could
ever quite come true
New urgency inside me
Brings
understanding into view
I must follow my true feelings
Use
my passion if I must
Begin again as me,
In
myself to have more trust
Let the spirit lives within me
Have
his freedom give him flight
Use his voice to be a beacon
Give
to others his insight
There is knowledge deep inside me
That
is desperate to be free
I have no understanding
Of
how it came to be
But somehow I must use it
Be
all that I can be
Where ever it does take me
I
know it is the key
To doors I have not found yet
Or
myriad mysteries
As basic as a sunrise
Or
a tall and stately tree
This second life I’m living
Brings
me understanding new
I am blessed with capability
There
are things that I can do
It’s not my place to question
Just
be used to set it free
Whether form is words or music
I
can help others to see
All the beauty in the world
Or
emotions buried deep
If I touch another soul
My
purpose I can keep
To make a contribution
Make
the world a better place
Encourage joyful laughter
Put
a smile on someone’s face
Foster understanding
Leave
love living in my place
Be a road that others follow
From
the darkness to a space
Where hope is more than dreams
And
life a joy becoming
Where love is breath of life
Bringing
changes that are stunning
From within I am transformed
To
another I’ve not met
My dreams are being realized
Though
I haven’t dreamed them yet
I am a light in darkness
Though
myself I cannot see
What I do is plain in purpose
Touching
souls to set them free
In the quiet of the night
When
the hour is quite late
I gaze from out my window
The
world I contemplate
Alone my mind is turning
And
twisting in its search
For new ideas and insights
On
which a poem is to perch
A child I know, has taught me
that
Inspiration
does surround me
Find a lesson from my life and
With
words describe what eyes see
Every waking moment carries
Examples
extraordinaire
It only takes the faith to know
The
lesson’s always there
The debt is great I owe this
child
For
giving my eyes sight
For understanding, accomplishment
Is
the faith to win the fight
That limits are by humans set
Talent
of course required
But determination and faith count
more
If
a creation you have sired
Whether words or paint or music
are
The
tools of your endeavor
The fruits will benefit someone
Unexpected,
present ever
Some mind or soul will see or
hear
The
thing that you have wrought
And strike a chord within themselves
Create a brand new thought
Perhaps a new perspective
Or
an aspect yet unthought
An uplifting moral vision or
A
fleeting feeling caught
Some will find their value in
The
dynamic you created
Or it stands as your pure essence
from
Your
heart flowing unabated
Perhaps the only purpose of
The
things your mind gives birth
Is a legacy to your children
A
treasury of your worth
Whatever your inventiveness
Creates
for us to see
Is worth the doing surely
Out
of soul it came to be
Creation is a process under-
stood by no one
here
It happens in the ether world
‘tween synapse, light and glare
Somehow within the brain several
Thoughts
coagulate
Mix themselves with feelings
Find
a meaning, set it straight
Enunciate emotions found
Deep
within your soul
Words demanding hearing spring
Forward
toward a goal
You find yourself a conduit
A
servant of a need
Compelled to scream or stroke or
pray
So
the meaning others heed
In the end my words go out
Through
that window in the night
Fly round the world just looking
In
the corners that need light
Whether my works are taken
seriously
Or
succeed in moral plot
My need is in the attempt
The
result should matter not
A spiritual undertaking
Traveling
back inside my soul
Stretching my capacity
Teaching
me about my whole
Ultimately the teacher of
My
very own being
Is myself as I coach others
The
better to be seeing
You’ve read my poetry, you say
And
want to read again
It touches you somehow, you feel
Understanding
now and then
There’s a side of me you see
You’ve
never seen before
A light that shines into your
soul
Helps
you, yourself explore
Becoming me for just a while
You
feel what I have felt
Our hearts do touch and you are
free
At
the alter of self you’ve knelt
It’s not the words you see or
hear
That
has effect on you
There’s something more… a sense
of us
Your
heart from me knows true
It is that tie, that unseen cord
That
chases loneliness
A connection made of faith
perceived
That
lessens your distress
You feel that I have held your
hand
And
listened while you told
Of all the pain you have endured
And
questions that are old
You know that I have heard your
cry
Though
not a word has passed
From now until the end of time
Your not alone, at last
I don’t know how to slow it down
This
pace is killing me
The faster that my poems flow
The
more to write I see
Like a hole within a dike
Through
which the water flows
The longer it continues on
The
more through it can go
The speed and volume build quite
quickly
Until
the dam does burst
I need my drink creation but,
Drown
is overkill for thirst
The words are flowing quickly now
There
is no end in sight
Before the last one’s finished
The
next one starts its flight
Consumed I am with thoughts
bizarre
And
thoughts of purity
A universe is being borne
Inside
the mind of me
I don’t know what the answer is
Except
it is my calling
I have no choice, continue on
There
is no way of stalling
I think I know why now and then
An
artist goes insane
Delivering the message clear
Takes
all,… no mind remain
It comes to me upon this day
To
see my natural way
My strength does not in leading
lie
But
what my eyes relay
Somehow the path between my mind
And
images I’ve seen
Is paved with words and similes
Emotions
gripped between
Words come forth, painting scenes
For
those who did not see
And those whose hearts, life
blinded will
Find
their eyes, in me
I am just a conduit
My
words are born in space
Outer in the firmament
Inner
with his grace
I think not what I’d like to say
But
let my hands explore
The keys upon my keyboard
Where
words appear galore
I sometimes feel an urgency
Words
tumble out so fast
I sometimes feel the calmness of
The
universe so vast
I seem be connected to
An
endless flow of thought
Converging here from far and wide
But
never being sought
I have a drive to see and say
Observe
the world alive
Heighten others vision of
The
way they may survive
If there be purpose in my living
My
voice a trumpet loud
It is to love the world at large
Show
the sunshine… not
the cloud
An Idea comes, it grabs my mind
And
I must set it down
My heart is beating faster
With
discovery that I’ve found
Urgency is here
I’m
driven more to write
Nothing else can matter
Must
keep focused on my sight
Of my life it takes control
Where
ever I do stand
I must pour the words on paper
Can’t
ignore the thoughts demand
Something wonderful is happening
Entrusted
to my hands
I must build a home for it
Though
arrival wasn’t planned
I tremble with the awesomeness
Of
what I undertake
But thoughts to me are living
things
Their
lives I can’t forsake
I dress them up, send them out
So
others see and hear
Give them all a chance to live…
In
someone else’s care
I think perhaps I have a gift
With
words I have a way
I can make you laugh sometimes
Or
on emotions play
I can bring a focus on
A
subject I desire
I can be quite cool or sweet
Light
a burning fire
My words do rhyme because I like
The
way they sound that way
It isn’t hard for me to do
My
natural way to say
Of course the thoughts that I
express
Should
be eloquent
But when I write for children’s
minds
“Funny”,
is time well spent
Perhaps it’s just a phase for me
Although
I don’t think so
I am driven relentlessly
To
Disseminate, to flow
What ever comes my way in thought
I
must broadcast in rhyme
I must show what is my view
I
have more words than time
When day is done and I can write
About
what my heart feels
I pour it out as quick I can
Helping
wounds to heal
Sometimes I sense another’s soul
It
speaks to me somehow
And I must find the words to say
What
it can’t say for now
I am a sort of common voice
Used
by one and all
I hear the voices without sound
Whenever
they do call
Whether joyful or in anguish there
Are
things that must be said
In the sharing there is healing
Help
another to be led
To the light of understanding
That
each is not alone
Banish darkness in an instant
With
love that can be sown
I am a sort of journalist
Interpret
what I hear
Hold a mirror to the myriad
Help
the blind to see their fear
Say the words that some cannot
Put
their feelings into focus
Give birth to smiles and laughter
See
the beauty of a crocus
Be the eyes of those whose lives
Have
dulled their sense of beauty
Save the souls of those who
clearly
Have
misplaced their sense of duty
Do what ever seems correct to
bring
Some
joy into their view
Hope my words will light a fire
Or
an understanding new
Use my love and awe of life
And
the words I pen in haste
To keep another’s blindness
From
making life a waste
All it takes for joy to come
And
happiness thereafter
Is believe inside each one of us
Lives
a person loved, and laughter
My hair has turned to silver and
My
years are mounting up
My life is full of love which
Overflows
time honored cup
I’ve brought into this world
three
Children,
make me proud
They brought into the world three
more
With
intelligence endowed
I have a lovely wife who is
My
partner, steady, close
I have a few good friends who can
Stand of
me a dose
I’ve opened new horizons that
Challenge
me to grow
I’ve loosed a stream of
consciousness
That
continues now to flow
I’ve raised my eyes to see a
higher
Place
in future be
I shine a light on beauty,
whether
Knowledge
or a tree
I do my level best to help
My
fellow man to see
The way to have a better life
Is
to start with simple “we”
I write what I am thinking so
All
who read will know
The things that I have knowledge
of
I’m
driven to bestow
I have a job to do, I
Accepted
in the past
Intuitively knew I must
Write
so it will last
Leave a lasting record of
The
fact that someone heard
The Lord when he was talking
And
understood the word
Keep my fellow man from now
Destroying
his own home
Help destroy the myths, by using
My
strength, a simple poem
There is so little time to do
The
job before I go
Before I leave this earth I must
Finish
my tableau
Or at least to touch another
Who
takes up my appeal
Sees the road that must be
followed
Applies
full measure of his zeal
It’s likely in the end, I must
Hand off
the baton
Do what I can do and then,
Quietly
move on
But at least I will have tried,
Shared
my love, which grew
Said what I could say, but
couldn’t
Say
as much as knew
Where would I be today
If I came a different way?
What would I be doing
Started
out with different viewing?
Had I chose another path
Be
of physics or of math
Would I then have to become
Different product, different sum?
Or would I be today
Same
person holding sway
Espousing all I learned
From
life which I interned
It’s all too easy think
I’d
see the obvious link
That makes us who we are
Though
we have come so far
How is one to know
The
direction that we go
Is from decisions made
Before,
when unafraid?
How can we find out
The
origin of our route
From innocent incept
To
lives we just accept?
What new thought would rise
From
past I analyzed?
Would it help me see
A different path for me?
Could I introspect
Coupled
with reflect
The scheme of life I’ve lived
Mistakes
I’ve made, forgive?
How can I progress
Use
the past for my success
In the future to succeed
Using
what I’ve brought, for seed?
Where must I begin
Change
the path “from here on in”
Evaluate the facts
Take
what adds and not detracts?
Who can help me be
The
one I am, can’t see
Hold my hand and stay
With me all the way?
All comes now together
Questions
asked forever
In the asking is the answer
As
the truth, it does infer
In contemplation we
Look
back, the road to see
What we must now discard
Our
futures not retard
Rearrange our view
See
the truths that are brand new
Continue speculate
Find
new ways we can relate
Write new songs of life
Take
lessons from old strife
In ourselves find strength
To
go the needed length
In short we should be proud
Be
ourselves, we are allowed
Follow feelings in our heart
Until
we must depart
Be the best we can of we
Work
hard at that and see
The benefits that land
Unasked
for in our hand
Take unto us each
Joy
in life and reach
To others with our love
Comes
back a product of
If true to who
we are
We
can be our own bright star
Share our light with all we meet
Help,
despair in them defeat
Find another soul
With
whom we can be whole
Form a lasting bond
To take
us far beyond
Dreams we could conceive
In
hope we will believe
No longer will we fear
The
path to take is clear
As long as we continue
Our
perspective to renew
Make our guiding light
Newly
found insight
Give away our love
Set
our sights above
The simple recompense
Others
think makes sense
We will know the way
Find
happiness each day
All within the bounds
Of
truths that we have found
Joy will come in living
In
ways needs no forgiving
As we take each others hand
Spread
the word throughout the land
Love is part the answer
Belief
and faith the rest
This journey lasts a lifetime
Take
my hand, with me invest
My
favorite destination
But it’s the place that I gave
birth
To
poetry from inspiration
Strange that being far away
Surrounded
by things foreign
I should emerge another man
Brand
new to write and relearn
The basics of the
me inside
Attention
turning inward
Spewing forth torrential rhymes
In
clumps which my mind did hoard
Unknown to me there lived within
Expression
burning deep
Love did reach across the world
Opened
doors that made me weep
The person that I am today
Conceived
in love to grow
Was borne a long way from his
home